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Title: The Best Laid Plans - Part 2
Author: psycholizard
Pairings: River/Jayne, Simon/Kaylee
Summary: Simon doesn't have a romantic bone in his body. Or does he? Kaylee is frustrated by the lack of romance in her life, or is she? River and Jayne become the unknowing targets of a convoluted and complicated matchmaking plan formulated by the people that know them best: Simon and Kaylee.
Disclaimer: Not mine. Never was. Never will be.
River sat nervously at the table as the crew assembled for dinner in the dining hall, unsure of how to act. She didn’t understand why she felt nervous or why a deep feeling of unease had settled in the pit of her stomach. The only thing she could think of was that that Kaylee and Jayne would commence with the plan tonight and she didn’t know how it would proceed. She didn’t want them to go through with their idea because it could only end badly. For Simon. She was only thinking of her brother.
Why, oh why did she endorse this idea?
Why, oh why did she endorse this idea?
River watched silently as Mal and Zoe filed in and took their seats at the end of the table, followed closely by Kaylee and Simon. She watched as Simon took his regular seat beside the bright mechanic and dinner was served.
A few moments later, as Mal was passing the potato flavored protein-mash across the table to her, Jayne lumbered in and looked around. There were two empty seats: one beside Kaylee and one beside River. He hesitated for a brief moment before sitting and River felt the pang of an unidentifiable emotion flash through her as he chose the seat next to Kaylee instead of his usual seat next to her. Why should it matter this much? It really shouldn’t because it was all part of the plan. He needed to convince the others that he liked Kaylee, so it made sense for him to change his routine and sit next to her. It’s just that River was used to being able to steal his dinner roll just to annoy him.
“Could someone please pass the salt?” Kaylee’s inquiry broke through River’s reverie. River glanced up and watched Jayne reach across the table and grab the shaker.
“Here ya go, Kaylee,” he said as he flashed the mechanic a wide smile that was usually reserved for those he was trying to impress.
“Thanks Jayne,” Kaylee replied, smiling in return. River carefully watched the crew for any sort of a reaction. Mal was engrossed in his meal and not paying attention to anything around him. Zoe and Simon were caught up in a conversation about the use of gun powder as an effective cauterizing agent.
“You didn’t get any bread, didja Kaylee-girl.” River looked up sharply at Jayne’s term of endearment. It appeared she was the only one that caught it.
“No, it musta passed me by,” Kaylee answered. Simon was still deep in conversation with Zoe and seemingly oblivious to the interaction between the pair. River felt herself silently screaming in frustration at the density of her brother. The sooner he picked up on Jayne’s ‘interest’, the sooner this whole act would end and life would become normal again. Jayne would sit by her like he usually did and they would tease and play with each other as usual.
River tried not to think too hard of the implications of that thought.
She watched as Jayne reached across the table picked up the breadbasket from its position in front of River. He paused momentarily and gave her a little wink. Her eyes narrowed in return and she looked down intently at her dinner plate.
“Here ya go, Kaylee,” Jayne said as he passed her the basket. Kaylee smiled up at him as she took a dinner roll and placed it at the edge of her plate.
“When are we meeting Inara?” Simon’s query interrupted her intense observation of Kaylee and Jayne. She watched as Mal glanced up from his dinner.
“We should be landing on Beaumonde tomorrow,” he responded. “Ain’t that right, albatross.” River nodded once, not bothering to speak. Mal raised an eyebrow at her lack of response but continued speaking.
“Anyway,” he continued. “She’ll be meeting us after the drop. Was there something you needed from her?” Simon nodded.
“I asked her to pick up a new herbal medication from her sources,” Simon responded, taking a bite of his protein mash. “It’s has some interesting effects on tissue healing and regeneration. I won’t bore you with the details, but it might prove useful with this crew.”
The rest of dinner proceeded rather uneventfully, with various crewmembers engaged in light conversation while River sat back in careful observation. Simon remained oblivious to the interaction occurring between Kaylee and Jayne, although River was keenly aware of it and becoming more annoyed with every passing minute. When Jayne leaned over and whispered something in Kaylee’s ear, eliciting a giggle, River huffed in frustration and crossed her arms over her chest like a petulant child.
“Something wrong, albatross?” River looked up at the Captain’s address and shook her head. She was vaguely aware of Jayne looking at her in curiosity, but chose not to meet his gaze.
“No,” she replied simply. “Why?”
“You just seem a mite put off is all,” he replied with a shrug.
“I’m not put off,” she answered quickly. Mal raised an eyebrow and stared at her.
“No need to get defensive, River,” Mal replied, his hands raised in surrender.
“I’m not defensive,” River said defensively. At this point, the rest of the crew had become aware of the slight conflict that had begun to brew between the Captain and his pilot. Simon looked up from his conversation at his sister.
“Mei mei is everything alright?” he questioned, a note of concern tinged his voice as he looked at her with his eyebrows furrowed together. River sighed and stood up abruptly from her chair.
“I’m fine,” she stated. “Just women problems.” She knocked her chair back as she quickly walked out, leaving the crew in stunned silence. They sat like that for a moment before Mal spoke up again.
“Did anything about that seem a tad odd to any of you?” he questioned. Jayne chuckled as he took a bit of his protein mash.
“It’s Moonbrain,” he replied. “She’s always odd.” Kaylee elbowed Jayne in the ribs hard enough to cause him to wince and rub his side tenderly.
“Jayne, that’s not nice,” Kaylee said with a pout.
“Aw, I’m sorry Kaylee-girl. You know I don’t mean nothing by it,” Jayne answered. Simon, who had been unusually quiet, stood up quickly.
“I think I should go make sure she’s okay,” he said as he followed his sister.
*****
“Mei mei?”
River looked up as her brother walked onto the bridge. She was sitting in the pilot’s chair with her legs curled up against her chest and her head resting on her knees. Simon crouched down beside her until they were eye level. Tenderly he touched her shoulder and brushed a stray hair out of her eyes.
“Are you alright, River?” he questioned. River smiled obligingly at him.
“I’m fine, Simon,” she replied.
“You left so abruptly,” Simon looked at her tenderly. “It worried me.”
“Is that all that worried you?” River looked up at him with an imploring gaze, wishing for just a moment that he was psychic and could pick up on what was bothering her. Unfortunately, like most men of her acquaintance, her brother could not read her thoughts.
“What do you mean, mei mei?” he probed gently, quietly imploring her for some sort of answer to her bizarre behavior in the mess hall.
“Weren’t you at all concerned over Jayne’s interaction with Kaylee?” she queried, frustrated over her brother’s apparent lack of insight.
“What interaction?” Simon chuckled. “He passed her the bread and the salt.” River rolled her eyes at his response.
“And he told her a joke that made her laugh!” she exclaimed as though it were the most obvious thing in the world and Simon couldn’t hide his mirth.
“River…mei mei,” he laughed. “Do you think I should be jealous over that?”
“Don’t you?” River leaned back in the chair and tilted her head to the side as she stared at her brother.
“No,” Simon responded with an exasperated expression. “I’m sure that the big neanderthal views Kaylee like a sister and nothing more. I wouldn’t be worried or upset about a harmless little joke. Not unless you think Kaylee needs to be worried every time I tease you.”
River sighed and nodded silently before turning back to the flight console. Taking this as a signal that their conversation was over, Simon stood and left the bridge, leaving River alone to her thoughts once more. Thoughts that were, at this moment, in the worst sort of turmoil.
*****
Simon quietly made his way toward the one place he knew he could find solace: the engine room. He smiled to himself at the thought of Kaylee tinkering with her machines and covered in grease. She was far too sweet to put up with his temperament, but he was glad she did. He might be socially awkward and unsure of his actions, but he loved her with everything he had and was anxious to prove it to her. It was this desire to impress her that made him agree to her latest scheme.
Simon stood by the doorway into the engine room and watched as his oil-covered mechanic tinkered with her engine and smiled lightly. He knew she was often self-conscious about her appearance, but to him, she was never more beautiful then when her hair was pulled up loosely, her coveralls hung around her hips, and she had a smudge of dirt on her face, just like she did now.
“How long are you gonna stand there and stare at me or are you gonna hand me that rag,” Kaylee spoke up, her back still turned on him. Simon chuckled and entered the engine room, crouching down next to her. He picked up the rag lying on the floor and handed it to her, lightly wiping a spot of grease of her nose as he did so. Kaylee smiled as she took the rag then leaned over and kissed him sweetly on his cheek.
“How’s River?” she inquired. Sighing, Simon sat down on the floor and leaned against the bulkhead.
“It’s obvious she’s bothered, but I’m not sure she can identify why,” he replied. Kaylee scooted over and sat next to him, curling up in his outstretched arms.
“She thinks I should be jealous and that anything she might be feeling is a result of her sisterly affection,” Simon continued as he loosened Kaylee’s ponytail and ran his fingers through her light hair. “I think you might have to kick the plan up a notch.”
Simon was startled when Kaylee suddenly buried her face in his shirt and her shoulders started shaking uncontrollably. Her giggles grew louder as she turned her face up to look at him.
“Did you just say ‘kick it up a notch’, doctor Tam?” she giggled, her expression full of mirth. Simon blushed and nudged her lightly.
“Are you making fun of the way I talk?” he teased, pinching her sides. Kaylee squealed as Simon began tickling her.
“Not at all, Doctor. I just think you need to ‘kick it up a notch’,” she replied wriggling out of his grip. Simon grabbed her wrist and drew her toward him, kissing her soundly.
“How’s that for ‘kicking it up a notch’?” he said with a smirk. Kaylee smiled and leaned into his kiss.
“Oh I think that’s pretty good,” she replied, straddling his lap and settling against his chest.
*****
Mal was confused. Thoroughly and utterly confused and the reason for that confusion was currently piloting his ship. He leaned back in his chair in the mess hall and contemplated River’s bizarre behavior at dinnertime. Her behavior could never be counted as normal, but her actions at dinner were definitely more unusual than normal. Unfortunately he had a strange inkling as to what precipitate it and that inkling was named Jayne Cobb. Rising from his seat, Mal headed toward that cargo bay, intent on having a little chat with the mercenary.
Comments
You know I must love you if I'm reading Rayne just because you wrote it.
Can't wait to find out what Mal is gonna say to his merc about his albatross. *snickers*
maybe i should hold my mal/river stories hostage until you finish Broken Promises. mwahahaha.
Beside which, my b-day present is being worked on as we speak. My hubby got me a EEEpc. It's a mini computer. It's about 8 inches wide by 6 inches deep. Has a 7 inch monitor and will run a stripped down version of Windows and Word and Excel. Comes with a Linux operating system, but we're switched over to Windows because my hubby knows how to service that. :D
Anyhow, now I won't have the excuse to not write. I'll have it with me all the time. It has a small keyboard and a wireless card built in.
I can't wait to get my hands on it because I need to get back to writing.
Thought of a possible funny for Broken Promises involving Jayne and his mom.
i can't wait to read funnies about Jayne and his mum. hurry please. tell that hubby of yours to finish working on it bc your internet friends are impatient. haha.
"And the reason for his confusion was currently piloting his ship"
That's awesome.
Just imagine if he was confused about a turtle.
Oh Jayne's in for it when Mal find him. Because if there's one thing Mal doesn't like, it's being confused. Haha.
just saying. 0_0
You have no idea how fed up I get with bigoted!Simon, no matter how well written.
sometimes.
plus...all kaylee really has to do is smile at him, right? ;)
1) She is a reader & would easily be able to tell if her partner was only stringing her along to get into her knickers,
2) She is a government-trained fighter/assasin(?) who appears to have close to Slayer fighting abilities, & would therefore be able to make a lying partner suffer like you wouldn't believe, and
3) From all evidence presented, Jayne seems to be devoted to those he cares for (sending money to mother, protective of Kaylee, helping to rescue Wash/Mal) so if he did genuinely hook up with River, she'd have someone else to watch her back who'd be a good deal more useful in a fight if someone tried to snatch her again.
Bonus) Excellent tracker if she did get snatched.
It would be very silly to go all overprotective of someone with River's abilities (other than generic reminders about disease/pregnancy prevention).
Something tells me that Simon'll be pointing & laughing when River starts running rings around Jayne, though!
im so glad you enjoy it and you like my characterization of simon. i'm trying to find a happy medium between canon and fanon.
I loved it. This is brilliant. Thoroughly enjoying the series!